Strangers on the Shore — The Firefly’s Cold Light pt.7
“That was so... heart breaking..” I finally be the one who broke the silence. “But, somehow it also warms my heart. Is that how all fathers to act? I wonder while listening to your story.” To understood it all, especially the burden and the pain, at that young age kind of amazed me. How it did not totally hinder him to be a father himself. If I were to put in his shoes, I already could say that it would totally stopped me from being one. Even if I understood it later in life, like just I did these past years.
But then a phrase ‘not knowing anything sometimes better than knowing half of it’ come to my mind. If I was not knowing anything, would I was not feel as complicated as I was in now? My own thoughts messed up my own mind and heart. It drove me crazy just from thinking of it. So, let’s just put the thoughts to rest for a while and listen to these strangers for now. Maybe I would get some interesting sights I could use for myself, because luckily our problems were kind of fell in the same topic.
I looked at Store Owner and his eyes glimmered a bit under the light of the lantern. Maybe this middle aged man was just a real softie.
“Hey, even if this story turned up to be a made-up, this is deep. Really..” Youngman said quietly with smoke circling around him, guess this cynical one also was not completely a rock.
“Even if it’s a made-up, this certainly happens somewhere to someone, though.” Oldman responded sternly.
“Guess everyone has problem with how their father acts, or supposed to act. Turns out I’m not alone” Youngman was back with his sarcastic wit.
“That was not how a father supposed to act, I believe. Because there’s no exact guidelines on how to be one. He just chose to be that way” Oldman averted his eyes toward Store Owner who had his head down staring at rocky sand.
“Yes. It’s just he chose to do that. A foolish gentleman, and in some way I follow his step, too. Later when I have experience the same thing, I go here to fish too, but of course with full equipment. I don’t want to be seen as a fool who want to fish but doesn’t bring any bait. I have to convince myself before deceiving others right?” Store Owner flashed an annoyingly innocent smile. We silently bawled for him, yet he smiled with perfect curve.
“Few times becomes some times, which becomes often times. So, I keep going here every now and then unintentionally. First, I just enjoyed the quiet and serene ambient this place served. But then, when my visit becomes uncountable, I understand why here is the perfect place for my father to go.
Just like what I said before. The waves is loud here, sometimes they’re really loud when the wave is quite wild. Hence your cry, your sob, will never be heard by anyone, even yourself. No one will know whether you’re crying or even screaming, or even asking for help if you’re drowning. If the sound of the wave is not enough for you, the strong wind will be the one blowing away your cry and scream. To some place where people don’t know or care about you. And also the wind will dry your tears faster, so anyone wouldn’t know you just cried.
Next, this place is quite dark compared to other area of the beach, right? The lamp post is dim, so only your lantern will shine you. Most people won’t notice you unless they pay full attention. And the last, because there are lots of big rocks here, you can hide behind the rocks if you feel you wanna cry. No one will see. You’ll just be mistakenly recognized as a rock by passerby. Isn’t it genius?” Store Owner forced a smile to us, his eyes were moist from trying to hold back the tears. I knew this was a really touching and tearjerking moment, but Store Owner’s tone made me did not shed a tear. His way of telling the reasons was like how a real estate agent would advertise a house. So it was funny yet sad at the same time, exactly at same percentage.
Oldman patted Store Owner back and his head just shrunk lower to the ground. Maybe a drop or two has fallen, but maybe it already disappeared the moment it fell. Being blown away by the wind or already seeped down into the ground. Or maybe the sea breeze already dried up his wet eyes. Just like what he said before.
“That was deep… Have you ever consider trying to be a poet?”
I could not believe what I just heard and turned my head to Youngman, and as I did I also found Oldman staring at him with strange look. Even Store Owner got his head straight back to looked at Youngman.
Feeling the stares of three of us, Youngman’s instinct just said something was just not right. “It’s just.. amazing? Your words?” He blurted in response.
